( .)( .) Oh, How Tweet It Is!

As I was just saying before getting distracted for a bit ... I'm going to make us all rich!

Okay, maybe it was more than a "bit," but I had no choice. Just as I was about to reveal my idea I realized if I shared it with all my readers, and they all decided to invest in my new business, I would have to split my profits among hundreds of people.

(If you were smart enough to not follow along with this saga and haven't yet satisfied your masochistic needs for today, you can do so by reading Part 1 and Part 2.)

Now that a couple of months has safely passed, I will only have to share my windfall with both of you. (Don't worry about Tiggr. I promise she will get everything she deserves.)

I could have come up with dozens of original ideas, but, because I didn't want to waste all of the 15 minutes I'd set aside to come up with a billion dollar idea on something this boring, I decided to just take a concept that is already wildly popular despite it's glaring flaws - Twitter - and make it better.

How hard could that be? Twitter sucks and yet it's still the hottest thing going. Improving it would be a piece of cake - red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. Lots & lots of frosting! And, of course, served warm. Much better when it's warm, don't you think? And served with a nice, fresh brewed cup of coffee.

Mmmmmmmm!

Anyone have a good recipe for red velvet cake? I suddenly have a powerful craving for ...

Ummm.

What were we talking ...

Oh ya! Twitter! (Thank goodness we don't have any cake mix here or it would probably be another two months before I finally finished this post.)

So, as I was saying, I don't like Twitter. I'm sorry but I just don't get its appeal.

You might think Twitter would be ideal for someone like me, a guy with the attention span of a flea, but it's not. I could never live with Twitter's rules.

I live my life by that famous old adage, "why use 100 words when 1,000 will bore everyone to tears." I couldn't limit my messages ("Tweets") to 140 characters or less if my wife depended on it.

Since Twitter's wild popularity proves most people don't share my "length" problem (don't worry guys, most women will tell you it doesn't matter anyway), I decided to retain Twitter's "140" limit on my new site. In fact, my new site is going to be just like Twitter, but with a couple of key differences.

So, though both of you probably thought this day would never come, here is the idea that's gonna make me rich (along with all of you who will surely be investing):

It will be called:

The difference between TITTER & Twitter is: With Twitter, people post short messages of 140 characters or fewer called "tweets."

With my TITTER, people will post short GRAPHICAL messages called "TEETS."

Like this:

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Example:

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While Twitter restricts tweets to 140 characters or fewer, TITTER will restrict TEETS to a total bra size of 140" or less.

Here are some examples of TEETS that all fall within TITTER'S 140" guidelines:

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Example:

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Example:

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Example:

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Example:

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Example:

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Example:

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Example:

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Here are some examples of TEETS that will violate the TITTER guidelines:

NOTE: Though the following TEETS violate the 140" bra size guidelines, TITTER users will NEVER be sanctioned for making such errors. (They will probably be rewarded ...)

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Example:

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Although the following TEETS do fall within TITTER'S 140" bra size guidelines, anyone posting such TEETS will immediately be banned for life:

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Example:

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Women will love TITTER because they are already experts at sending messages with tits. And, although men still won't be able to understand the messages, they'll be too excited to give a damn.

Okay investors, I'll see you all at the first stockholders meeting ...