Did You Know Satan Is Blogging Now?

Do you ever think beings from some otherworldly dimension, perhaps hell, are sending you messages? Messages they often send subtly, maybe through your intuition?

Or, even more commonly, do they sometimes like to talk to you directly inside your head (sometimes bringing a few friends and a couple of six packs along to hang out for the weekend)?

And do they sometimes send you messages by making specific letters float to the top of your alphabet soup where they spell out messages like, "kill your dog and eat his brains?"

No?

Seriously?

Never?

How about when you were a kid? You can't tell me you never sat at the breakfast table and found your Post Alpha Bits cereal telling you "your sister looks hot and she wants you!"

Right?

Not that one either?

Damn.

Ummmmm ...

Ahhhhh ...

Never mind ...

Okay, even if you never got messages the way I always ... ummm ... the way I always wanted to ask if you did, you surely have gotten tons of messages here on Blogger, right?

I'm talking about those pain-in-the-ass word verifications you have to type in when you want to post a comment on some people's blogs. Surely, they have spoken to you at times, right?

I get those kind of messages all the time. Of course, the fact that I'm a poor typist, easily distracted and incredibly stupid, means that I go through 10 or 12 of the word verifications with each comment I make before I finally get lucky and somehow type in the right letters. So I probably see a lot more of those things than most people.

Either that, or I have much more talkative demons than you do.

Whatever it is, I have been collecting them for a long time and I picked out a few to share with you. For those not familiar with Blogger's word verification system, here is how to understand the following messages.

1) The colorful, supposedly random, letter combinations are the messages I've gotten from my demons ... ummm ... I mean from Blogger.

2) The letter combinations under each demonic message - the ones that look remarkably like what you are reading right now - are messages from me.

Here they are:

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I believe this one was actually meant for John McCain.

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Satan's latest marketing slogan.

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Maybe so, but they don't fall down!

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First lesson: Bend over and grab your ankles.

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And you thought chesty women were popular!

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Umm, on second thought, I didn't mean it when I posted
the comment, "I hope you get your ass spanked raw!"

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Buy me a nice dinner first.

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Not even if you buy me the damn restaurant!

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You have no funkin idea!!!!

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